Thursday 24 October 2013

The Proverbs 31 Woman

Proverbs 31 Woman- Read Here:
 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31&version=NIV

So often, we hear of the "Proverbs 31 Woman", and we read and aspire to be that person described in this chapter of the Bible. According to the chapter expanding on "The Wife of Noble Character", a Proverbs 31 Woman is:
-rare, valuable, dependable, good, eager, busy, early rise, provider, cook, business person, gardener, strong, active, frugle, generous, not fearful, has a respected partner, dresses well, humourous, speaks truth, intelligent, teacher, a morning person, respected, the best, is a believer



Now... I don't know about you, but I am not those. I am not even half of those. 

I make bad decisions, I spend more than I should, I make mistakes, I have more of a black thumb than a green thumb, I can be lazy, I lose all arm wrestling competitions, I dress for comfort, I worry, I get anxiety, I procrastinate, I love to sleep in, my faith lacks at the best of times, and my dad won't eat my cooking.

Women often study this passage and beat themselves up over not being all of the woman described here. The comparable passage would Jesus, except not many people beat themselves up over not being like Jesus. Our goal is to become more Christ-like, but not to be Christ himself (impossible by the way). So we should aim to do the same with this woman and also with Christ. Improve, fall down, get up, improve again. With God's help, we will learn mighty lessons.





Sunday 4 August 2013

Jeremiah 29:11

I saw a magnet on the fridge of Mary (Jesus' Mom) with a bunch of children on their knees, raising their arms in praise. That got me thinking- Catholics think very highly of Mary, and I don't blame them. Mary submitted to God's task and plan for her life. She did God's will. Mary is in heaven- not as God, not as an angel, but as a sinner who was saved. Just like the rest of us.

Myself, and you, and others- we can all do the same. Maybe we can't carry the savior of the world in our womb, but start small- God also has plans for us, and we can follow his will and accomplish much for the kingdom of God.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Monday 1 July 2013

Bouncing Between Realities (Distance in Relationships)

Distance in relationships can be emotional, social, physical, spiritual, and mental.
*And I am not just talking about romantic relationships.

As a military brat of the Canadian Armed Forces, I've had to separate a lot from the people I love.

   I've moved when I was 7 from my friends in BC, then I moved within NS to a different school when I was 9.  Since then, I've moved between Toronto and NS, separating from my high school friends, my blood family,  my NS church family, my 5 No-Boy's Allowed girls (Shoutout!!), my Neill-Wycik roomie families, my Toronto friends, my Mississauga/Oakville Fam Jam, and my boyfriend. 

It's funny because only one person really knows the two realities that I bounce between. We went to middle & high school together and were great friends. Then we both went on our own independent adventures the year after high school, and were reunited when she bounced not too far from Toronto. And finally, we are both 10 minutes away from each other for this summer, only to follow each other back to Ontario in the Fall. 

                                                   Me & Kenny.

It makes it easy because we understand where each other has been, and our goals are similar for the summer.
1. No Regrets
2. Enjoy Every Day- Don't Wish It Away
3. Crazy Spontaneous Adventures/ Let's Make Great Stories

Normally, I am an epic fail at communicating, but I am making a solid effort this summer- I've been doing stuff like this:

*Letters,  Postcards- 
Write everything, write how you feel, write your goals, write what you've done
Try to send one letter a week
*Phonecalls/Skype- 
Don't have high expectations, your schedules will be different, time zones make it harder, but  don't be disappointed. Just try the best you can.
*Texting-
Don't let this be the main mode of communication,  but it's great to send a picture through text to let the other person be involved in daily activities or to send a little encouraging text.

It hasn't even been taxing, in fact I really enjoy doing it, and plan on making just as much effort with the people in NS when I go back to Toronto.

It has been hard at times. Sometimes me and my S.O. assume things of each that aren't true, just because of lack of communication, but it doesn't last too long if we are both honest and own up to our feelings. It's taught us to be more open, mainly because we have nothing else to go on besides a phonecall. I think every couple should try it at least once, because if you make it- you've gotten through it, it's a testimony to your relationship, it teaches you things about each other and creates trials and challenges that you both have to work through together- so if you come out of it, your relationship is that much stronger. If you don't make it, then it's ending something sooner than it would've already come down. Because, a relationship will be most tested in hardships of long-long term relationships, marriages- kids, fights, money, etc..., so you shouldn't be scared to lose something that would end in rougher waters anyways.

In the meantime- don't wish your time away, if you refer back to my blog post "The grass is greener on the other side..." it's not. Just enjoy where you are. Missing people is fine, but don't make that the main thought of the day. There are so many unexplored trails, and unmet people. Enjoy where you are, life will get back to normal someday. 



Tuesday 25 June 2013

Church Shop, Don't Hop!

Throughout my 8 years of being a Christian, I've been committed to going to a total three different churches. 

The first one was in NS, and it was where I came to faith. It is a small country church of about 50-60 people (the nicest, and friendliest people that you will ever meet). I went there until I moved two years ago, but am returning there and getting baptized there this summer. Since my time there, we have had appx. 3 pastors.



The second church I went to was next door to my apartment in Toronto. I forced myself to get out of my comfort zone to be able to attend, and after about a month I began to make friends and be involved. It's size is about 200 people, of older, conservative people. I was involved in the children's ministry which was really great, and my faith was really challenged as it was a very intellectual, theological church. But that was also to it's detriment. A lot of the learning was way over my head, and I was constantly surrounded by seminary students who knew far much more than I did, which made me question my own faith- and the degree to which I lived it. However, I think the biggest downfall was that the pastor, after myself having year of regular attendance and being involved in ministries, still did not know my name. The last time I saw him was when I was standing in for a MOH for a wedding rehearsal, and he tried to make conversation by asking me who I was and if I attended the seminary of which he was principal. 



So... on to the next church I went.

The third church I began attending with my boyfriend. It was also a large church of about 200 people, but mostly young families. The preaching by the senior pastor is amazing, and I still continue to listen to the sermons via downloadable audio even though I am 2000km away. I attended there for about 10 months, waiting and hoping to feel a part of the church community, however it never happened. Everyone was welcoming and friendly, but I always felt like an outsider, and still hesitate to call it "my church". After some thought and reflection over the summer, I decided I could no longer attend when I return for the fact of lack of fellowship and the distance is too far for me to travel on my own. 



It weighed heavy on my to tell my boyfriend that I didn't want to attend that church with him anymore, but after discussion, it turned out he felt the same way, and we are on our way to Church Shop in the fall.

I have googled around a bit and there is one church that is standing out that is equal distance from both our houses, and seems to have a good community and fellowship for young adults. I look forward to exploring this church- and if necessary, other churches. 

Even though I have not found a church for me in Toronto (yet!), I have tried, and I have been committed to the ones I have been at. The difference between church shopping and church hopping, is attempting to become a part of the community and then moving on when you find out it's not working VS. not attempting to become a committed member. I think that it is important to look for a church that you can serve in and in return will serve you. So don't be discouraged, God will lead you and let you learn. There is a purpose in everything. Even the churches I didn't stay in have taught me A LOT about faith.

                                                                  Church Shop (Don't Hop!) :)

The main thing to remember is that no church is perfect. As stated above, sometimes a church has poor sermons, but great fellowship. Maybe the worship and prayer is so touching, but no one has even noticed you're there. It's all about finding a mix that is right for you, one that will be able to use the gifts God gave you to glorify Him best.



Monday 24 June 2013

The Best Feeling in the World

There was a point in my life where I was sitting in a lecture hall of my biggest class. It was a class I hated the most, yet I sat there, and I was so... at peace. It was a feeling of general accomplishment, of being able to look around and say "I'm here". I was in Toronto, at Ryerson, and it's where I had dreamed of being. I was sitting in a university class, being taught by Professor Doctor so-and-so. I felt like every plan, list, application, dollar, stress, and mile flown,  had led of to this seemingly expendable moment, and it was a great feeling.



I had an apple cinnamon tea in my hand, I had fallen in love, and I felt so close to God. Those three things with the general overhead cloud of achievement of a moment I had long dreamed of, had collided in this dark movie theatre lecture.

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.   Colossians 3:15

That was the best I've ever felt, but it wasn't a feeling of utter joy, or excitement, or happiness bouncing off the walls. It was just a feeling of calm, of complete peace. The best.

"I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.  John 14:27
This has been a lesson learned; that the expected kaboom of life events, mostly, just let us down. Our expectations can be so high sometimes that nothing can reach them. The best experiences are often ones that we expect nothing from. 


Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all. 2 Thessalonians 3:16

Sunday 16 June 2013

The Name: We Need Help

So, I uncovered this blog I made during my second year of university, and I remember that I couldn't think of  a good name, so I just named it the random "Go Octopus". And now, I'm trying to put meaning to that name.

First off, I am sometimes get into the mood to just be lonely., so GO is a reminder to GO out, into the world, explore, be curious, be adventurous, and create memories.

The second of OCTOPUS is that an octopus has 8 arms. How much do we get so busy that we wish we had 8 arms? We multi-task so much so that kids are raised without parents, people die due to distracted driving, and we don't ever fully complete a task to our best ability because we have so much to do. So in this type of society, we need to have fellowship, friends, and family, to be able to be our arms for us, and not be afraid of failure. We need to ask for help.



So for today, I'll expand on that seeing that the semon scripture today was:

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 
Galatians 6:2

We need to ask for help. The most difficult thing to admit is that we often can't do it on our own, and there are two people to go to.

1. The first person you need to go to is Christ.

Go to him as a humble servant, he knows your heart. He knows what burdens you, and prayer is a way that He wants you to communicate that to him. Ultimately, God's will for Himself to be glorified will take root, and you can find peace in that answer.


2. The second person you need to go to are: friends, family, brothers/sister's in Christ, pastors, youth leaders, people you truth... the list can go on and on

Personally, there were times in my life I would not have been able to get through without my roommates. I was blessed that whenever I was crying or in despair, my roommate was next door, and trust me- she helped me through it all. Friends give great advice. Family can help you see the reality of the situation. But sometimes, we just need a listening ear.

And when it comes to carrying each other's burdens, it's very difficult. You have to make sure that you are filled enough to make that commitment to be someone's sharer of burdens, to be their extra arm. If you find that you are continually empty, you won't be able to give anymore, so take time for yourself- go fill your tank back up. Otherwise, their burdens become your burdens, and your burdens become another's, and that is not a healthy cycle.

Sometimes all it takes is to break down. We are not perfect, and letting other people know about our imperfections as Christians doesn't diminish Christ's power, it strengthens it! How much greater is He who is perfect against our imperfection than our presented false perfection. Letting people know that Christ loves us despite of our continual sin, and that we still struggle, and that sometimes we still don't trust in him even though we know we should, is one of the greatest testimonies to God that there is. We are not perfect, but Christ is, and he still loves us.

Tuesday 11 June 2013

I think the grass is greener on the other side... but I also think I'm wrong.

In the age range my friends and I are in, it's strange. We're floating in between being a child and being an adult. A lot of us have college age responsibilities; laundry, cooking, money, school & work. Some of us live as a child; living at home, dependent, having fun. Some of us live as an adult; living in your own home, getting married, careers, having kids. This is all very strange because we can be the same age as someone, yet while we are carefree going to the lake, working our summer jobs, and enjoying home cooked meals, our friends are having babies and making life commitments to other people.

It sometimes just seems like life is passing me by...

...And, I get jealous.

Life is a constant reminder that someone has something better than you, has done something greater than you, and that someone is happier than you.

It's a constant battle to say no, but that is what WE HAVE TO DO, if WE want to be HAPPY.

When I was a teenager, I wanted nothing more than to move away. I thought that living on my own would make me the happiest I've ever been. That, that life stage would be soooo good.
   The turn-around point was... it wasn't better. I missed living as a child, and I didn't like responsibility. I wasn't happier. But, I wasn't sadder. It was just... different. So my conclusion was: THE GRASS ISN'T GREENER, IT'S THE EXACT SAME, just somehow "different".



It's still hard, even with this mindset, when I see a friend get married, or have the love of a child in their arms, but after that first wave of "I wish that was me *sigh* *daydream*", then I remember that I am just enjoying the life stage that I am in, not wishing away time, not wishing for the future or dreaming of the past, but just enjoying the present.

Sunday 9 June 2013

The Course of Faith

Over the last 8 years of my life, I've been up and down, drifted far and reeled back in, was satisfied and then tired. When I became a Christian in October of 2005, I was young and naive (not much different from what I am now). When you are first filled with the Holy Spirit and make a commitment to follow Christ and become a Christian, you might not know the full story. But, I don't believe that you have to... yet. I didn't know that suffering would still continue, that I would have moments of sadness, weakness, temptation. That I would still struggle as a human being.

Most of my struggle of faith came when I moved. Making new friends was difficult, keeping in contact with old friends was difficult, and finding a new church family was difficult. I was no longer surrounded by people who loved God. However, God uses everything and anything to glorify Him, and my case was no exception. Through my struggle, I would not change a thing. These past two years have been the hardest I've gone through and yet they are (in my opinion), the strongest part of my testimony. I have never witnessed God work so strongly. To be able to look back to a moment of confusion and be able to see what God was trying to teach you, is one of the greatest feelings on earth. 

Through another long story, even though I have been a Christian for 8 years, I have never been baptised. Actually, that is not true... I was baptised as a baby. But what most people don't understand, is that Believer's baptism is "identification with the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ" and "a public testimony o f our faith in the Lord Jesus" and finally, it is a commandment of Jesus: "And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, All power is given to me in heaven and in earth. 19Go you therefore, and teach all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost" Matthew 28:18-19. So on July  7, 2013, in a Nova Scotian lake, I will finally be baptised.

                                    Here's a picture of my good friend Deb getting baptised in 2010

 So even though time has passed, it is better late than never, and I am so glad that I was able to come back to the church that I came to faith in, and that people here invest in me and my faith. Here, my faith is nourished, and in reference to my last couple of posts, my tank is being filled here, maybe for preparation for my move back to Toronto, where is can be drained through learning and life experiences, and then another way to fill it back up can be found. I have hope and confidence in my heavenly Father, wherever he guides me.


Thursday 28 February 2013

Finding A New Family

It took me a bit over a year to find my Ontario Family. I have left a lot behind in my home in Nova Scotia. My biological family, my church family, and my friends who are like family. Everyone was left behind, and I was all on my own. I reconnected with my sister- 3 hrs away. One of my good friends from NS moved an hour away and we're still good friends. I found family in my roommates, who are like my adopted siblings. I fell in love and have his family. It took me a long time to create a life around me. I had a lot of friends in first year, that I don't have now.

These past two years have been the most accelerated growth I have experienced. So many trials, but I have grown so much as a person because of certain experiences. Through the tough times, I wouldn't change a thing.

The most important thing in life is your family. It doesn't have to be biological, but your quality of life will be based upon the people you adopt into your life.

A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle.

Working in a hospital, it's sometimes stressful, but you have moments that are very rewarding. I saw this statement today  "A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle." and was wondering how true it is. Ultimately, helping someone, especially in a palliative state, can be very draining, and if you put all your effort into someone else's comfort, your own comfort will be drained. The analogy of a candle in care, at first, seems unappropriate. A better analogy would be 2 cups. One cup is filled with water and the other cup is empty. As you help someone, in a hospital or otherwise, your cup will slowly empty, and the other cup will slowly fill. It's draining. A pastor recently said this in his sermon. You always have to make sure your own tank is filled. This doesn't mean being selfish, but it means that at the end of the day when you have drained your tank, that you take time to refill it. Some people may do this through exercise, baking, being with friends/family, etc. If you don't refill it, your tank will be empty and you will have nothing left to give the next day.

The idea of the candle is nice, and comforting, but it's not completely true. Unless you see the whole cycle of kindness. When you drain your tank to help others, your reward can be found in witnessing the effect on the other person. Therefore, when you light another candle, and help another person, you can strengthen yourself and the other person. Selflessness is hard to achieve because sometimes you don't see the whole cycle, and instead you are just drained, and not refilled.

In the hospital, you have thankful patients and not-so-thankful patients. But one patient who is thankful can make your whole week.

So the next time someone helps you, or drains their tank for you, be appreciative, be thankful, and refill their tank. And when you drain your tank for someone, know that it is worth it, regardless of their response.