Monday 1 July 2013

Bouncing Between Realities (Distance in Relationships)

Distance in relationships can be emotional, social, physical, spiritual, and mental.
*And I am not just talking about romantic relationships.

As a military brat of the Canadian Armed Forces, I've had to separate a lot from the people I love.

   I've moved when I was 7 from my friends in BC, then I moved within NS to a different school when I was 9.  Since then, I've moved between Toronto and NS, separating from my high school friends, my blood family,  my NS church family, my 5 No-Boy's Allowed girls (Shoutout!!), my Neill-Wycik roomie families, my Toronto friends, my Mississauga/Oakville Fam Jam, and my boyfriend. 

It's funny because only one person really knows the two realities that I bounce between. We went to middle & high school together and were great friends. Then we both went on our own independent adventures the year after high school, and were reunited when she bounced not too far from Toronto. And finally, we are both 10 minutes away from each other for this summer, only to follow each other back to Ontario in the Fall. 

                                                   Me & Kenny.

It makes it easy because we understand where each other has been, and our goals are similar for the summer.
1. No Regrets
2. Enjoy Every Day- Don't Wish It Away
3. Crazy Spontaneous Adventures/ Let's Make Great Stories

Normally, I am an epic fail at communicating, but I am making a solid effort this summer- I've been doing stuff like this:

*Letters,  Postcards- 
Write everything, write how you feel, write your goals, write what you've done
Try to send one letter a week
*Phonecalls/Skype- 
Don't have high expectations, your schedules will be different, time zones make it harder, but  don't be disappointed. Just try the best you can.
*Texting-
Don't let this be the main mode of communication,  but it's great to send a picture through text to let the other person be involved in daily activities or to send a little encouraging text.

It hasn't even been taxing, in fact I really enjoy doing it, and plan on making just as much effort with the people in NS when I go back to Toronto.

It has been hard at times. Sometimes me and my S.O. assume things of each that aren't true, just because of lack of communication, but it doesn't last too long if we are both honest and own up to our feelings. It's taught us to be more open, mainly because we have nothing else to go on besides a phonecall. I think every couple should try it at least once, because if you make it- you've gotten through it, it's a testimony to your relationship, it teaches you things about each other and creates trials and challenges that you both have to work through together- so if you come out of it, your relationship is that much stronger. If you don't make it, then it's ending something sooner than it would've already come down. Because, a relationship will be most tested in hardships of long-long term relationships, marriages- kids, fights, money, etc..., so you shouldn't be scared to lose something that would end in rougher waters anyways.

In the meantime- don't wish your time away, if you refer back to my blog post "The grass is greener on the other side..." it's not. Just enjoy where you are. Missing people is fine, but don't make that the main thought of the day. There are so many unexplored trails, and unmet people. Enjoy where you are, life will get back to normal someday.