Church Shop, Don't Hop!

Throughout my 8 years of being a Christian, I've been committed to going to a total three different churches. 

The first one was in NS, and it was where I came to faith. It is a small country church of about 50-60 people (the nicest, and friendliest people that you will ever meet). I went there until I moved two years ago, but am returning there and getting baptized there this summer. Since my time there, we have had appx. 3 pastors.

The second church I went to was next door to my apartment in Toronto. I forced myself to get out of my comfort zone to be able to attend, and after about a month I began to make friends and be involved. It's size is about 200 people, of older, conservative people. I was involved in the children's ministry which was really great, and my faith was really challenged as it was a very intellectual, theological church. But that was also to it's detriment. A lot of the learning was way over my head, and I was constantly surrounded by seminary students who knew far much more than I did, which made me question my own faith- and the degree to which I lived it. However, I think the biggest downfall was that the pastor, after myself having year of regular attendance and being involved in ministries, still did not know my name. The last time I saw him was when I was standing in for a MOH for a wedding rehearsal, and he tried to make conversation by asking me who I was and if I attended the seminary of which he was principal. 

So... on to the next church I went.

The third church I began attending with my boyfriend. It was also a large church of about 200 people, but mostly young families. The preaching by the senior pastor is amazing, and I still continue to listen to the sermons via downloadable audio even though I am 2000km away. I attended there for about 10 months, waiting and hoping to feel a part of the church community, however it never happened. Everyone was welcoming and friendly, but I always felt like an outsider, and still hesitate to call it "my church". After some thought and reflection over the summer, I decided I could no longer attend when I return for the fact of lack of fellowship and the distance is too far for me to travel on my own. 

It weighed heavy on my to tell my boyfriend that I didn't want to attend that church with him anymore, but after discussion, it turned out he felt the same way, and we are on our way to Church Shop in the fall.

I have googled around a bit and there is one church that is standing out that is equal distance from both our houses, and seems to have a good community and fellowship for young adults. I look forward to exploring this church- and if necessary, other churches. 

Even though I have not found a church for me in Toronto (yet!), I have tried, and I have been committed to the ones I have been at. The difference between church shopping and church hopping, is attempting to become a part of the community and then moving on when you find out it's not working VS. not attempting to become a committed member. I think that it is important to look for a church that you can serve in and in return will serve you. So don't be discouraged, God will lead you and let you learn. There is a purpose in everything. Even the churches I didn't stay in have taught me A LOT about faith.

                                                                  Church Shop (Don't Hop!) :)

The main thing to remember is that no church is perfect. As stated above, sometimes a church has poor sermons, but great fellowship. Maybe the worship and prayer is so touching, but no one has even noticed you're there. It's all about finding a mix that is right for you, one that will be able to use the gifts God gave you to glorify Him best.

The Best Feeling in the World

There was a point in my life where I was sitting in a lecture hall of my biggest class. It was a class I hated the most, yet I sat there, and I was so... at peace. It was a feeling of general accomplishment, of being able to look around and say "I'm here". I was in Toronto, at Ryerson, and it's where I had dreamed of being. I was sitting in a university class, being taught by Professor Doctor so-and-so. I felt like every plan, list, application, dollar, stress, and mile flown,  had led of to this seemingly expendable moment, and it was a great feeling.

I had an apple cinnamon tea in my hand, I had fallen in love, and I felt so close to God. Those three things with the general overhead cloud of achievement of a moment I had long dreamed of, had collided in this dark movie theatre lecture.

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.   Colossians 3:15

That was the best I've ever felt, but it wasn't a feeling of utter joy, or excitement, or happiness bouncing off the walls. It was just a feeling of calm, of complete peace. The best.

"I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.  John 14:27

This has been a lesson learned; that the expected kaboom of life events, mostly, just let us down. Our expectations can be so high sometimes that nothing can reach them. The best experiences are often ones that we expect nothing from. 

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all. 2 Thessalonians 3:16

The Name: We Need Help

So, I uncovered this blog I made during my second year of university, and I remember that I couldn't think of  a good name, so I just named it the random "Go Octopus". And now, I'm trying to put meaning to that name.

First off, I am sometimes get into the mood to just be lonely., so GO is a reminder to GO out, into the world, explore, be curious, be adventurous, and create memories.

The second of OCTOPUS is that an octopus has 8 arms. How much do we get so busy that we wish we had 8 arms? We multi-task so much so that kids are raised without parents, people die due to distracted driving, and we don't ever fully complete a task to our best ability because we have so much to do. So in this type of society, we need to have fellowship, friends, and family, to be able to be our arms for us, and not be afraid of failure. We need to ask for help.

So for today, I'll expand on that seeing that the semon scripture today was:

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 

Galatians 6:2

We need to ask for help. The most difficult thing to admit is that we often can't do it on our own, and there are two people to go to.

1. The first person you need to go to is Christ.

Go to him as a humble servant, he knows your heart. He knows what burdens you, and prayer is a way that He wants you to communicate that to him. Ultimately, God's will for Himself to be glorified will take root, and you can find peace in that answer.


2. The second person you need to go to are: friends, family, brothers/sister's in Christ, pastors, youth leaders, people you truth... the list can go on and on

Personally, there were times in my life I would not have been able to get through without my roommates. I was blessed that whenever I was crying or in despair, my roommate was next door, and trust me- she helped me through it all. Friends give great advice. Family can help you see the reality of the situation. But sometimes, we just need a listening ear.

And when it comes to carrying each other's burdens, it's very difficult. You have to make sure that you are filled enough to make that commitment to be someone's sharer of burdens, to be their extra arm. If you find that you are continually empty, you won't be able to give anymore, so take time for yourself- go fill your tank back up. Otherwise, their burdens become your burdens, and your burdens become another's, and that is not a healthy cycle.

Sometimes all it takes is to break down. We are not perfect, and letting other people know about our imperfections as Christians doesn't diminish Christ's power, it strengthens it! How much greater is He who is perfect against our imperfection than our presented false perfection. Letting people know that Christ loves us despite of our continual sin, and that we still struggle, and that sometimes we still don't trust in him even though we know we should, is one of the greatest testimonies to God that there is. We are not perfect, but Christ is, and he still loves us.

I think the grass is greener on the other side... but I also think I'm wrong.

In the age range my friends and I are in, it's strange. We're floating in between being a child and being an adult. A lot of us have college age responsibilities; laundry, cooking, money, school & work. Some of us live as a child; living at home, dependent, having fun. Some of us live as an adult; living in your own home, getting married, careers, having kids. This is all very strange because we can be the same age as someone, yet while we are carefree going to the lake, working our summer jobs, and enjoying home cooked meals, our friends are having babies and making life commitments to other people.

It sometimes just seems like life is passing me by...

...And, I get jealous.

Life is a constant reminder that someone has something better than you, has done something greater than you, and that someone is happier than you.

It's a constant battle to say no, but that is what WE HAVE TO DO, if WE want to be HAPPY.

When I was a teenager, I wanted nothing more than to move away. I thought that living on my own would make me the happiest I've ever been. That, that life stage would be soooo good.
   The turn-around point was... it wasn't better. I missed living as a child, and I didn't like responsibility. I wasn't happier. But, I wasn't sadder. It was just... different. So my conclusion was: THE GRASS ISN'T GREENER, IT'S THE EXACT SAME, just somehow "different".

It's still hard, even with this mindset, when I see a friend get married, or have the love of a child in their arms, but after that first wave of "I wish that was me *sigh* *daydream*", then I remember that I am just enjoying the life stage that I am in, not wishing away time, not wishing for the future or dreaming of the past, but just enjoying the present.

The Course of Faith

Over the last 8 years of my life, I've been up and down, drifted far and reeled back in, was satisfied and then tired. When I became a Christian in October of 2005, I was young and naive (not much different from what I am now). When you are first filled with the Holy Spirit and make a commitment to follow Christ and become a Christian, you might not know the full story. But, I don't believe that you have to... yet. I didn't know that suffering would still continue, that I would have moments of sadness, weakness, temptation. That I would still struggle as a human being.

Most of my struggle of faith came when I moved. Making new friends was difficult, keeping in contact with old friends was difficult, and finding a new church family was difficult. I was no longer surrounded by people who loved God. However, God uses everything and anything to glorify Him, and my case was no exception. Through my struggle, I would not change a thing. These past two years have been the hardest I've gone through and yet they are (in my opinion), the strongest part of my testimony. I have never witnessed God work so strongly. To be able to look back to a moment of confusion and be able to see what God was trying to teach you, is one of the greatest feelings on earth. 

Through another long story, even though I have been a Christian for 8 years, I have never been baptised. Actually, that is not true... I was baptised as a baby. But what most people don't understand, is that Believer's baptism is "identification with the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ" and "a public testimony o f our faith in the Lord Jesus" and finally, it is a commandment of Jesus: "And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, All power is given to me in heaven and in earth. 19Go you therefore, and teach all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost" Matthew 28:18-19. So on July  7, 2013, in a Nova Scotian lake, I will finally be baptised.

                                    Here's a picture of my good friend Deb getting baptised in 2010

 So even though time has passed, it is better late than never, and I am so glad that I was able to come back to the church that I came to faith in, and that people here invest in me and my faith. Here, my faith is nourished, and in reference to my last couple of posts, my tank is being filled here, maybe for preparation for my move back to Toronto, where is can be drained through learning and life experiences, and then another way to fill it back up can be found. I have hope and confidence in my heavenly Father, wherever he guides me.